Getting Past the Ghosts

Getting more done with less when you’re not in charge can feel like an uphill battle. If you find that you spend too much time trying to persuade people to make a decision, send you something, or sign off on approval then welcome to the club. There’s a lot of members. 

If you want to leave the club without paying off a 12-month subscription fee, then here’s a useful perspective and a tip. 

Everybody is busy. That’s not a new thing, of course, but for some reason it feels especially bad this year. You’re bound to be familiar with how your brain makes poorer decisions when you’re tired or hungry. That’s why the snacks you resisted in the morning get eaten at 4pm.  And you also know only too well how frazzled your brain is after yet another Teams call when the work is piling up. It’s a recipe for decision fatigue.

If that’s us, then it’s EVERYONE ELSE, too.

Moving our perspective to include everyone else can be really helpful.Moving our perspective to include everyone else can be really helpful. It means we start from a place of “getting it”, even if it’s frustrating not to get the responses we need

Much of the ghosting we get at work is due to people not prioritising our requests and part of the act of prioritising includes weighing up, consciously or unconsciously, how much time/effort a task will take. In other words, making a decision. Knowing this is more helpful than you might first imagine. 

So, how can you use this knowledge?

Understanding that the person receiving your request is likely up to their eyeballs in decisions (Should I answer this? What should I have for lunch? What do I do if this campaign doesn’t come off?) gives you some power. 

Simply make it easy for them to reply. 

Get really, really clear on what you need.

You can’t always do it but next time you pre-emptively sigh over the possible way you’re going to get ghosted on your message, proof it for: 

1. What am I actually asking this person to do?

2. How do I make it as easy as possible for them to do it? 

A personal note: how I use this

I don’t dumb down my requests but try to figure out where the decision might seem difficult or time-consuming to the recipient and give people a clear steer on what steps they can take. Like everyone, I don’t always get it right but when I’m twiddling my thumbs because someone hasn’t replied, the answer is normally right there on the screen: I’ve asked for too much or not made the call to action straightforward enough. 

And good luck with your own decision fatigue. There's some useful information about your brain’s use of energy resources…but that’s a story for another day.

What about you? I’d love to know your persuasion secrets. And if you'd like an in-depth course for you and your team on how to improve your influencing and persuasion skills, try our Getting Buy-In training course.